I’m scared. I’m scared to get stuck in the hamster wheel of life. I’m scared to get caught up in the rat race: a race with no start, no end, and no prize. I’m scared to have a meaningless college degree. I’m scared to waste my parents’ savings on a degree that I could have learned from the local library. I’m scared to have a job that I don’t care for. I’m scared to have a job that uses me as an expendable machine. I’m scared to be a machine working for the world. I’m scared to be just another cog in the wheel of society. I’m scared to become a zombie, drifting mindlessly through life. I’m scared that I won’t be able to add value to the lives of others. I’m scared to have no purpose. I’m scared to have no freedom. 

     But, I wish to be free. I wish to live with purpose. I wish to spend my time how I please. I wish not to be tied to a job, but to the wanderings of my mind. I wish to work for the Lord wherever He needs me. I wish to add value to the lives of others. I wish to be a unique part of the Body of Christ and not just another cog in society. I wish to live in line with God’s unique purpose for my life. I wish to be my unique self. 

     And Jesus, I ask that you can give me the courage to follow you and not the ways of the world. I ask that you can give me confidence to follow the path that you have set for me and not the easy, meaningless path the world sets forth. Help me to have more confidence in You, in my beliefs, and in myself. Don’t let me succumb to false comfort, Lord. Don’t let me fall into the trap that is the rat race. But let me find comfort in You and in your promises. Let me be comforted in the fact that your will be done. And Lord, thank you for being who you are. Thank you for lifting me up when I am down. Thank you for making me who I am. Help me to understand that I can’t do anything without you. Keep me humbled and looking up. Amen! 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” — Henry David Thoreau

     I am hiking alone, deep in the wilderness. Slowing down from my frantic, modern life, my mind is open to thought. I am free to wander and free to ponder. 

     As I walk along an unobscure ridge, a gentle breeze cools the sweat on my neck and rustles my shirt. I ask myself: How does wind work? Well, I understand that nature always seems to strive for balance, or equilibrium. Now air, being a component of nature is no different. So, is wind the balancing factor of air? Furthermore, I understand that temperature and density are both metrics for air. Specifically, as air temperature increases, the density decreases. Knowing this, cold air sinks and hot air rises. Logically, cold air must be denser than hot air. But how exactly does the air move?  From the rise of hot air a space is left behind, and this space cannot stay empty, but rather must be filled by the sinking cold air. Cold air is able to sink when hot air rises. Is wind the result of this cyclical motion? On this notion, I ponder Newton’s Third Law where for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The cold, dense air filling the void is the opposite and equal reaction for the hot air rising. This action moves air, and moving air is wind! Moreso, I know that physical entities naturally flow from high potentials to low potentials. Does air also want to go from a position of high to low? The cold, dense air moves to fill the pocket left behind by the rising warm air; it moves from a place of high density to low density. Wind cycles various densities and temperatures to balance the air! I continue to walk along the ridge and chuckle at the seemingly simple, yet complex, intricacies of our world. 

     In the distance I see a grassy field waving rhythmically in the breeze. As I approach this field, I observe that it is a field of lush, green ferns. I gently reach for a fern, curious to study its design. I am able to see that the individual blades of each blade are strikingly similar, moreso each blade is almost identical to the overall fern. I thought each self-similar piece is a fraction of the whole. I close my eyes to focus, and am reminded of fractals. Now, I remember that a fractal is a never-ending pattern that repeats itself on different scales.This fern is like a fractal! Logically, this fern is a never-ending pattern. Then, I questioned: How is a pattern made? I understand that a pattern is correlated to repetition. So, to make a pattern there must be a repetition. But what is being repeated? If each blade looks self-similar to the overall fern, then there must be a simple repetition of this blade. Fascinating! 

     I am deep into the forest now, continuing along the trail. I stop in awe of a beautiful, old pine tree. I recognize the repeating pattern, and discover that this pine tree is also a fractal. Fractals are everywhere, but why? Well, repeating a simple pattern seems quite efficient. Logically, fractals must be hyper-efficient! Then I thought, assembly lines repeat a simple pattern. So essentially, fractals are nature’s assembly lines for growth! 

     I continue walking knowing that thousands of people have only seen the tree or felt the wind on this trail without seeing the subtle laws that govern all of nature. That saddens me, but I am captivated by the fact that there is intelligence to nature’s design. 

     On my closing descent towards the trailhead, I feel inspired to understand Ralph Waldo Emerson’s adage that “If we live truly, we shall see truly.” I am most alive when I am asking critical questions and making deep connections. I long to find complexity in the familiar and excitement in the monotony that modern civilization tends to be.